At the end of the day all you have is who you are. Do what you love and love what you do.

I find it kind of strange that when people introduce themselves to someone else, usually the first thing that's said or asked after your name is your job. "Hi, Mariel, nice to meet you... So What do you do?" When did we start identifying ourselves with our jobs? If you genuinely love your job I think it's ok to be excited to tell people about it as long as you can still discern your qualities from your job title. When describing someone I really like I begin with their redeeming characteristics, such as funny or kind hearted.. Of course the inevitable question always makes an appearance in these conversations... "And what does he/she do?!" And not saying this isn't important, I just don't really think it should be the way we describe ourselves or others especially when most 20-30 something's work in an environment where they dislike a vast majority of their coworkers and count down the minutes each and everyday until they are "free." Its sad that we live in a society where you have to decide if it's worth it to hate your life 75% of the time just to have enough money to do whatever you want with the remaining 25%. We absolutely live in a culture where we live to work.. The fact that so many people identify themselves with their profession is so disheartening when so many of these people also hate these jobs that they have lost themselves in somewhere between that Christmas bonus and second raise...

In Costa Rica I experienced a culture that worked to live. You work hard and do what you need to in order to get by, but when you leave work, you really leave it. You go home and enjoy life with the people whom contribute most to your precious life, your close friends and your family. That's pura vida :) 

When I lived in CR there was a bakery across the street from my house called "Musmani" and around Christmas time they put a note on the door one morning that basically said they had partied too hard the night before and would not be open that day. That would never happen in our culture. Everyone is so anxious and uptight about deadlines, unwritten rules and etiquette, and appearances that we forget to live our lives for the person who matters most, ourselves. Of course there are certain professions where closing down your business for the day is unacceptable, but we need to take something away from the country voted happiest in the world. Enjoy your life, enjoy every single second because it's yours, it's the only one you've got, and one day you will look back and realize you wasted far too many days worrying about what other people thought of you or cultivating anxiety and fear over something that hasn't even happened yet, when you could have been taking advantage of the many beautiful opportunities life is continually throwing your way. Keep an eye out for them :)

#socialidiots

"I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots." -Albert Einstein

I wonder how direct human communication has changed over the past few years with the incessant innovations of social media. I seldom speak on the phone anymore, I'd much rather "speak" with someone by texting. Some days the greater part of my communication is comprised of a combination of texts, tweets, likes, and facebook comments. I have, more often than I'd like to admit, read into the affect and tenor of someone's message through these digital sources. I believe we can all think of a time we received a simple text message and formulated a supposition of our communicative partner's underlying intent.. "So then he texted me back, 'k.' He did?! OMG what an effing a-hole!" Or of one of the other social media outlets that we  likewise anatomize.. "yo she liked like 10 of my profile pics, she for sure wants the d.." It's strange to think of how these social media sites were initially developed to connect us with the "outside world" when really it appears as if they are actually shutting us in. I recently watched an episode of "Catfish" and I was shocked at how easy (and common) it is to hide behind a computer screen and develop a full blown "relationship" with a stranger. I just googled some statistics about online dating and found a study by Match.com. Most of the stats seemed to be bias as it was conducted by an online dating site; however, it did reveal that adults with internet access are more likely to be in a relationship than those without it. How the heck is sitting behind a computer stalking vacation photos and over analyzing wall posts contributing to the personal facets of forming an intimate and genuine relationship?! I can just barely grasp the "social" aspect of this, and the longer I think about it, the quicker it's slipping from my mind. 

On another note, I wonder what happens to the integrity of our (hopefully) unique and insightful messages when we speak in hashtags and our thoughts are condensed to 160 characters. Everything has become so instant, so temporary, and so impersonal.  How often we sit down with another human being and have a genuine conversation without the simultaneous mindless stroke of our thumbs across the smooth LED lit surfaces of the devices attached to our palms?  Don't get me wrong I love technology and use social media everyday for both functional and entertainment purposes but I think the speed and facility of everything in our lives is changing us. The immediacy, impersonality, and impetuosity of social media has not only significantly lowered our attention spans and heightened our anxiety but also is beginning to depreciate our thoughts and ideas. What is this lack of face to face communication doing to our characters?

Satisfaction

Life isn't about how much money you make, the small setbacks, the things you own, the things that start to own you... it's about you. The person you are and the person whom you strive to become. Everyday we do things and we decide not to do things, we think things and say things and hold other things back.. all of these unimportant daily occurrences shape us. We get so accustomed to our lives, the everyday... everything starts to blur together and each day becomes less and less memorable. I've been struggling to find a way to change this. To make everyday count. To wake up with a smile on my face and realize that the small things don't matter. The everyday, the routines, my acquaintances, my dear friends, the hours, the minutes, the seconds that slip through the cracks are what are most important and I have the power to make them meaningful. To end each day and wonder how the next day could possibly be even better. To have a positive outlook on life and make everyday one for the books. To not only be satisfied, but to be fulfilled.

Limbo

So I’m stuck in Ft. Lauderdale airport, without a phone and practically non-existent “free wifi”, I’ve watched the only two movies on my computer (Pulp Fiction and It’s Always Sunny Christmas Special), read the only two books I have (The Help and A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, -and the Jew deep down inside of me is preventing me from buying another one at double the price in the custy shop… sorry if that offends anyone-). Needless to say I am quite bored, and my mind is running rampant sitting here physically and mentally halfway in between my life in Costa Rica and my life in New York.

This morning I said bye to my host mom. I walked through the gate which I had walked through so many times before listening to her yell after me “Se vaya bien” or “tiene su sombrilla?” except this time the only words uttered were muffled by the soft sounds of her crying. I didn’t cry then. I actually felt cold for not crying, and a bit strange because normally I can’t control my sobs. Writing this now, the tears are beginning to well up in my eyes, but I am trying my hardest to not be that disheveled girl crying atop her rucksack in the airport. I am really going to miss mi mama Tica. I truly felt a part of a family and leaving was as difficult as when I had to say goodbye to my family in New York, harder now because I am unsure of the next time I will return. As she says, “Así es la parte más fea” (here is the ugly part.) Throughout my time here, correction, there, I have tried to find the beauty in everything, and almost always was successful, but the beauty in saying goodbyes? I can’t see it.

(Sidenote: the girl next to me if fighting with the hotels/airlines about getting a discounted room tonight and the airline is claiming it’s not their fault because of weather-obviously-, and the hotel won’t honor any discounts for “distressed travelers.” How terrible is your life at this moment that you can label yourself a “distressed traveler” based on the fact you need to spend less than 12 hours in an airport? At any point does human kind stop wanting more? And what personal gain does one ever receive from complaining? Suck it up like everyone else sister.)

Maybe it’s because I have been gone for four and a half months, or maybe it’s because my flight is scheduled to leave here at 7 am and I have a slight suspicion that may be pretty unlikely with the way the East coast has been dealing with snow lately, but I still can’t imagine being back in New York. I’ve become so accustomed to life in Costa Rica, the food, the people, the language; I even began to tolerate “Tico time,” finding myself arriving late and not caring in the least bit. I keep talking to people in Spanish here in the airport on accident, “Disculpe!” If I ever fly out of limbo, I’ll be heading to Atlantic City on Thursday, and I’m afraid of the culture shock I am going to experience. I haven’t even worn anything resembling a nice outfit in almost five months; I don’t think a white-T, ripped leggings, and smelly tennis shoes will fly in the Trop. It’s interesting how the importance of material things develops over time, and how the importance differs in every culture. I hate sounding pretentious but it’s going to be really hard to see these differences staring me in the face. It’s already been so hard to see kids complaining about the most trivial things, like the amount of sauce on their pasta, and adults irately arguing over seat placement on their flight to the Keys. I do understand that this is the society we live in, the society I personally choose to live in, where rescheduled flights without compensation are unacceptable and manicured nails and two hundred dollar jeans are the norm. And I’m not at all saying I don’t own a pair of expensive jeans, or enjoy a nice manicure, but Costa Rica has taught me so much about these things. To appreciate every aspect of my beautiful life. To be grateful everyday for all that I have, the amazing people in my life and the unconditional love that engulfs me. To complain less, or better yet, not at all. That most things are never as bad as they seem, and it’s in fact quite easy to breathe and find a viable solution for every problem. And most importantly to stay positive and smile, in every moment, because looking at our truly privileged lives, it’s hard to find a just reason not to. In the words of a drunk Spaniard at one of the hostels we stayed at in Nicaragua, “I love life, because life loves me.”

Beginning of the end.

First of all, I just looked out my window and my neighbor is standing on his huge metal roof painting it with a broom and one tiny bucket of green paint wearing shorts, a cut off tank and a cowboy hat.. picture to come, although I think the mental image is equally as comical. Also, a bum just passed with a Jonas Brother backpack. God, I am going to miss Costa Rica.
Today is my last day in my Costa Rican home. My host mom realized that last night was my last night sleeping here, and she started crying telling me she loved me as much as her own children. I could not have asked for a better living situation. I had a mom who treated me as her own daughter, laughing at me when I made mistakes, commenting on my clothes, giving me advice, cleaning (and snooping) in my room, a dad who minded his own business but still made me feel very comfortable, a host sister and brother who I could joke around with about the other volunteers (don't worry Alyssia&Laura, not you!) , and took me out with them and showed me real Costa Rican night life. It's so hard to leave a place that at one point in the past four months, I began to call home. I have had 5 places in the past year the I have called home, and I am starting to feel that I couldn't live any other way... The 9 to 5 sounds so unappealing when there is so much else out there in the world.
(side note: it's started drizzling, and the neighbor is still sweep painting away up there, and now singing also.. He's gotta run out of paint soon?)
Connor is en route to Costa Rica now. Im hopin' and prayin' that his flight isn't too delayed due to the absolute craziness occurring in NY, looks like Bloomberg could have used a few more sanitation workers... I love New York, but I am certainly not looking forward to being back in the snow. Anyway, I'm taking Connor to three of my favorite places here and am so excited to spend our first New Years together :) More blogs to come when we return to NY on the 11th!
It's definitely sad this trip is ending. But I am trying to look at it as a beginning. A beginning to a life where I will appreciate everything so much more and can be a better person.

From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life.

It's strange to see decorations with winter hats or snow men with a backdrop of palm trees, beaches and people in t-shirts and sandals. Most people here have never seen snow, but everything is commercialized and based on American television culture therefore, Christmas is still associated with snow and the cold, and Santa does live in the North Pole after all. There does appear to be a heavier relgious emphasis on the day as compared to in the U.S., mostly every house has a huge Nativity scene, taking up almost a whole room sometimes. My favorite nativity is outside in a soccer field on the way to San Jose (from my volunteer project). There are life sized mannequins, and the three kings are riding bicycles.. I have to remember to get a picture.


My Christmas was nice. It didn't feel like Christmas for the longest time, not only because of the weather difference, but also because I wasn't surrounded by my friends and family. All of my close friends here have gone home, so it was a little bit depressing being here alone, but thank god I have such an amazing host family! Christmas Eve (Buenanoche.. translation, the good night) I went to my host families Grandmas house. Everyone was sitting outside talking, drinking, dancing salsa, eating.. The typical foods for Christmas here are of course rice and beans, pork, salad, and tamales which are usually corn meal mixed with tomatoes, onions, rice, some meat, and chilies wrapped in a huge leaf and cooked "a la leña" over a flame. They also do a secret santa, but call it "amigo secreto," secret friend. Christmas morning we all woke up late and ate grapes and apples and more tamales. We went to the Grandmas house again for a large lunch.. Christmas is all about the food here! After eating and watching the bull fights on t.v, I came back to my house and skyped with family/ It's was so nice to talk to all of them, we are all truly blessed to have each-other. My grandma and grandpa sang me rudolph the red nosed reindeer, it was so cute! After my skype date I bummed around for a while and my family showed me the presents they got and we just sat around and had some nice conversations. The son, Esteban and a family friend Carlos were going to the parties in the nearby town, Zapote, and asked if I wanted to go. At first I was a bit hesitant but figured why not? Estebans friend drove us there and we parked a few blocks away because it was so crowded. The parties are in a huge parking lot of a stadium (where they have bull fights). Theres music and dancing in the streets, bars, mucho cerveza, tons of fried food, games, rides.. It's like a huge carnival that people come to from all over the country. It was a lot of fun, and definitely a cultural way to spend my first Christmas away from home!


In another aspect, Christmas is celebrated very similarly to the way we celebrate in the U.S., the city is overly crowded with people, the lines in the stores are painstakingly long, and everyone is always in a rush. Being here and working in poor communities has made me realize how ridiculous Christmas has become over the years.  Reading facebook statuses like "the worst part about xmas is the traffic at the mall!" makes me cringe a little bit because for some people the worst part about Christmas is being told their father doesn't want them and they have to go live in an orphanage, or not having any money to eat. I am not trying to sound pretentious or like I think I am the next Mother Teresa but the emphasis on shopping and material gift giving is a bit excessive. People stress so much over the perfect gift, how much money to spend, what to wear to a party, or preparing for company to come over and in the end is it really worth it? I like to think my family is pretty modest and of course there are presents(because honestly it wouldn't be Christmas without them), but the best part of the day is the quality time we spend with each other. When all is said and done are we really going to remember what gift we received or gave or for the memories we made? This Christmas my family decided to donate the money they would have spent on gifts for each other to the kids at Rayito. With that money, along with some money from Madeleines family, we bought all of the kids new shoes. I think my dad said it best in his email.. "certainly your kids would benefit from our gift money. We can live without more candles and bathrobes.." And they did. Some of the boys didn't even own a pair of sneakers, now they all have spiderman high tops. Upon recieving them, they were all so grateful, and Madeleine and I overheard some of the older girls saying they didn't want to wear their new shoes yet because they wanted to save them for church...

Feliz Navidad!